For a long time I saw my hair as a very important part of myself. My hair was me and I was my hair. I went from natural to relaxed, from relaxed hair to afro hair, from afro hair to dread locks, from dread locks to the big chop! I am not regretting any of the phases I went through as I learned from them, each version of myself made me grow.
Following my recent big chop I understood that there is a strong link between hair and confidence. Now that my hair is gone I am redefining myself and I am comfortable in the way I am doing it. I am the same woman, just a different version.
In the past my hair really limited me and hindered my ability or willingness to do some things like swimming for example. I decided that my hair was getting in the way and this mindset changed a few years ago when I started doing some introspection work, when I actually made a point of understanding how much space my hair was taking in my life, figuratively and literally.
I really suffered from having afro hair in secondary school as this was when I started to transition and retrieve my natural coils. As we all know our hair can look pretty strange during the process – coily roots and straight ends on the same head led people to call me names all the time. I wasn’t strong enough mentally to brush these comments away and felt uncomfortable in my own skin. TV also shaped the way I saw my hair, especially considering that I grew up with MTV base, watching music videos showcasing women rocking straight hair constantly.
Everything changed when my musical references evolved, from Janet Jackson (and her long straight wigs) to soul singers such as Jill Scott, Erykah Badu, and Lauryn Hill - women who simply celebrated us fully, from head to toe.